spoiled

So there are a few people in my life that are so spoiled. I'm not naming names that's for sure. Although I don't know They were raised this way and now that they're older they are set in their ways. I'll admit I love purses that are designer and prefer their signature prints just to show of that its Coach or whatever brand. Other than that I really don't care about labels.

So I have to give these people a gift for the baby shower. They are expecting gifts in the hundreds. one person I know may give them a gift valued at 600 dollars. Which I talked them out of I hope. I want to get a diaper bag but a fancy one. The Coach diaper bag is too much money. And just think.. you are putting poopy diapers in a bag that cost hundreds??? so what on earth am I going to give them??

I have never met some of these people but I'm very nervous to. I have to look my very best for sure! I'm obsessing over this. If I'm going to meet these people for the first time I wanna look thinner and prettier. I have a little over 1 month to do so. So we shall see. I know I know I should be satisfied with the way I look now but I'm not.

So I guess I will just try until the baby shower to lose weight and buy the perfect outfit!

thanksgiving thanks

Happy Thanksgiving ! Today is a day to give thanks. I have a huge amount to be thankful for. Should I list it?? Of course my family and friends. I have made family with a large group of people and I really love every single one of them. I also have every blessed material object a girl could ask for. And for that I am not only thankful but I feel spoiled for it.
 God is so wonderful ya know?! He gives us all we need and then some. If only we listen to him and serve him.
I could use my time and volunteer at a shelter but eh.. I don't know.
I guess the best is to keep giving thanks to God and stay humble.

a long break

So if you had been following my blogs you would know that I went off the map. It all started because the new medicine I was taking made me even more groggy than the other meds. Which I didn't imagine was even possible as I was struggling to wake up with the old meds. Lately, knock on wood, I've been getting up super early like today for example, 8 am! Last Sunday it was 7:30am! My husband was shocked. The medicine has been a Godsend. It has totally done a 360 on my life. I never knew what happy was and how depressed I was until I got on it. Really! No wonder I laid in bed for hours not wanting to get out--- I was depressed.. duh, why didn't I think of that??!!
So know that I'm no longer depressed I'm such a changed woman. I am super talkative and friendly with friend, family or strangers! I only have about a tenth of the worries I use to have. I'm still not drinking and don't desire to most of the time. This is ground breaking for me.

I want to discuss selfishness and humility for a moment.

So over the weekend I went Christmas and birthday shopping at the mall and also online shopping. I got everyone done except 2. I had 12 gifts and 12 stocking stuffers as well as 6 birthdays! But here's the thing-- no matter what store I went into I found something or somethings I would want for myself. I had to use serious self-discipline to deter myself from buying for me not another. This leads me to the topic of selfishness... I get so bothered when I think of how much I have and how I don't need anything. In fact I Should probably donate a lot. For example: I have been tracking what I wear. I haven't repeated an outfit since September. No grated I bought all my clothes a thrift shop that puts things into perspective. But still, I feel overwhelmed. I have an iPad, designer sunglasses, a HUGE collection of purses, you name it I probably have it. So why when shopping for holidays did I want almost 1 thing in every store I went into?! Am I greedy, or is this normal? My trainer was like well it's your money you earned it if you wanna spend on yourself why. Well he would be right if I didn't drop over 150 on a wallet a few weeks ago. Shopping is like a drug for me, it feels so good that I can't resist buying stuff.

But on another hand I am very humble. I volunteer my time and services. I donate clothes that I don't wear or fit in. I need to just not beat myself up and be thankful to God for all that I have and all he has given me.

habits or not

So I finished my book called Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. Its a book to teach how habits are formed, kept or not. I thought it would help me accomplish my goals. I have so many goals. I think no I Know I constantly am trying to better myself. The program talks about character defects. I am constantly trying to fix those. Here are some habits I would love to formulate. And I may have talked about these before.
-facial regimen- cleanse, tone, moisturize- morning and nite
-come to Starbucks and blog every week day morning
- go to gym , trainer and cardio
- art journal at least 3 times a week (right now I do none0
- Rosetta Stone, Spanish language. I want to talk to hubby in Spanish ideally
-keep a gratitude journal daily

These goals are all TOTALLY obtainable! But for whatever reason I can't stick to them. I will do my skin care routine (I use Meaningful Beauty from Cindy Crawford) for days in a row and then skip for days in a row. Why not just do every day??? Am I that lazy. Look at this morning. I did get out to Starbucks but I didn't do the face cleansing routine. Little stuff like this, yes its little.. bothers me.

All of these listed items should go up on an updated Vision Board. but this vision board will be different. It will be limited to just those things I listed above. Nothing more or less. Stay simple.

Rosetta Stone I'm struggling to do at all. I want to learn Spanish but for some reason I just don't designate the time for it.
So if the book didn't help me learn how to keep a habit I don't know what will.

The Starbucks routine is hard because it requires me to get up at a reasonable time. and get out of the house. I decided to set an alarm. sounds minor but I honestly never thought of that before. Set and alarm. wake up the same time every day and it may actually make me get up regularly on my now.


I actually sit around feeling bad that I don't make these several things into permanent habits.
I am so hard on myself. I should be proud of the little things. But there is time in this life and I can learn to adapt ways to make me fulfill these habits.

Today's drink: Spiced Pumpkin Latte no whip cream

labor day weekend

So I haven't blogged in a while. I get pretty sleepy even upon waking up. So my desire is to only blog from Starbucks. IF I change that plan I will never get out to starbucks. The purpose in first place from this blog is to get out of the house consistently early morning so I can have a purpose to wake up and get up.

So labor day weekend was packed for us with things to do. Saturday we went to my family's lake houses (there's 3 altogether). I brought my grandmother's apple pie. I try to do that every year. There was A LOT of booze. My husband was drinking beers and vodka. Luckily my best friend and her husband were visiting from Long Island and they don't drink. So that was helpful. Why do I care if people are drinking? Only because its tempting. I cannot drink. I have a disease that makes me sick when I drink. I also can't drink just a lil' has to be binge. I can't believe I'm writing this here for all to see. But my battle with sobriety is a meaningful one. Now I can remember Everything I say and do. I don't act a fool. Luckily  too my friend's husband drove us there and back. So that my husband could drink and not drive. So I was able to decline drinks all weekend.

Sunday we were invited to our neighbor's pool party. Hubby brought them a bottle of vodka. They had all sorts of mixers for it. I was tempted to have a vodka and red bull. But I passed. Again my friends don't drink so that was helpful. Hubby however was getting shit faced. which is fine. He's a grown adult. no driving involved as the party was next door. I had a great time but I didn't go in the pool. It was way to cold water for me.

Monday my sister and her family came over to go to the beach in Bridgeport called Seaside Park. It was so good that my best friend got to see my nephews after a long time not seeing them. We had a BBQ first with hot dogs and burgers and corn and then we went to the beach and relaxed why my sis and her kids were catching hermit crabs in the water!

again there was beer there. and I passed it up. Thanks God!
 we had fun! I was laying out on my towel soaking in the sun all covered in 50 spf sunblock!

we went back to my house and cooked some more. The nephews got to do the tradition I made for them: painting a rock or two from my rock garden! They love painting the rocks! I have to get more colors for them besides just red and yellow.

anyways a fun and sober weekend for me! and all had fun as far as I know!

Drink of the day: pumpkin spice latte no whip cream

I'm back!

I can't believe I took so much time off away from this blog. It really is fun to get out and come to Starbucks, order coffee -something different every time and sit amongst others with just as much action. I have been put on a new medication since end of June. This medication in addition to the other one made me so sedated. Getting up was a task. I have so many topics to write about.



My husband has been pointing out how many things I'm forgetting. Whether its something he or someone else told me moments prior or something I told someone twice because I forgot I told them in the first place. I'm wondering if this is something to tell the doctor?! Like I'm getting stupid or something. ???? damn meds damned if you do, damned if you don't. they help in so many good ways but side effects can sure be challenging.

So our house had been on the market these last 3 months. We got a handful of showings and 1 offer. The offer didn't work out. Hubby and I agreed that if nothing happened end of 3 months we'd discontinue contract. So we did just that. I'm happy because the idea of moving was worrying me to no end. Which is probably normal for anyone selling a house. Now I can continue with my life as its going in a really good direction now.

So I have a few new friends in my life. Which is exceptionally good since they are all local. My older friends all live in other states. New York, Cali, phili, N. Carolina, florida, colorodo!! I haven't made new friends in a long while. So this is warmly welcomed.


That's enough for the updates..

2 year wedding anniversary

so today is our two year anniversary! We go married at Vazzy's Fairchild Wheeler golf course August 10th 2013. It was the most beautiful day of the whole summer. The weather was perfect. I worked so hard to make the arrangements for decorations and other things like the lemonade/ mason jar bar!
I didn't get all the pics I had hoped for but there was a good/bad reason for that.

So in the past two years a lot has changed in our relationship. some things I don't want to talk about here. I love Ruben so much and more and more every day. He means the world to me. I take his advise and opinions like gold. He always watches out for me.

I get mad that he harasses me when I smoke cigs.. but he means well and doesn't want to see me sick in the future. But I stay away from cigs for him not me. Anyways that's a whole other topic.

So we are basically best friends. We don't do things without each other Most of the time.
 I love cooking for him. I know he likes that.. even if I don't cook Spanish food. I also love just sitting doing nothing with him. that's a true measure of a relationship. That you can sit in silence and still be comfortable.

Thanks hubby for being an amazing force in my life. I know you wont see this but I love you with all my heart. !