spending money

Tis the season to shop until you drop. ugg. It's so nice to see a family member or friend's face when they open a gift from you.. but you end up spending a fortune on everybody. This year we have 13 people to shop for for Christmas gifts and 6 December babies for birthday gifts. All in total equals mega bucks. Now I'm not totally selfish but I always shop in the stores and think- hmmm that looks nice , or I want that. sometimes I buy the stuff I see for me.

Part of my illness is that when I am in a super good mood I tend to spend spend spend. And sometimes when I'm in a bad mood I spend to feel better. its like a vicious circle. I bought several things in November and December that I definitely DON'T need!!

Sure some say well Erin you deserve it. Do I? really? A designer brand wallet over 150? A set of shower gels for 75? and day planner for an amount im not even going to share. Some choices are poor. I returned clothes I bought online. They were nice but not worth the money. So that's how I rationalized the day planner. because I returned the clothes then I can afford the planner.

I really should donate more things. But a good friend of mine told me I deserve everything God blesses me with. So I will continue to do what I do daily and thank God for everything. all day I do this and it really helps!!

spoiled

So there are a few people in my life that are so spoiled. I'm not naming names that's for sure. Although I don't know They were raised this way and now that they're older they are set in their ways. I'll admit I love purses that are designer and prefer their signature prints just to show of that its Coach or whatever brand. Other than that I really don't care about labels.

So I have to give these people a gift for the baby shower. They are expecting gifts in the hundreds. one person I know may give them a gift valued at 600 dollars. Which I talked them out of I hope. I want to get a diaper bag but a fancy one. The Coach diaper bag is too much money. And just think.. you are putting poopy diapers in a bag that cost hundreds??? so what on earth am I going to give them??

I have never met some of these people but I'm very nervous to. I have to look my very best for sure! I'm obsessing over this. If I'm going to meet these people for the first time I wanna look thinner and prettier. I have a little over 1 month to do so. So we shall see. I know I know I should be satisfied with the way I look now but I'm not.

So I guess I will just try until the baby shower to lose weight and buy the perfect outfit!