how to or not spend ones' birthday

Hi all! Well today I am a year older. YAAY! I love my birthday. I think for some reason all the festivities that surround the day excite me. I confess, its the one day where it is ALL about ME! and that's probably the psychology behind it. I think we all deserve 1 day out of the year to be honored and spoiled.

The program I am a part of has taught me to honor others and provide service to others. Think less and less about yourself. That's major for me. I know that one of my character defects growing up and still has been very self-centered. I need to think less about Erin and more about everyone else. Whether it is during a conversation of its at Christmas giving.

Its not about me anymore; its about what can I do for others?

 I was thinking about it.. I have changed my cleaning day to Thursdays. And I need my Friday's off. I though this week- how shitty I have to clean the house on my birthday. But then I gave it more thought. It's really just another day. I'm not some primadonna princess that can't lift a finger. I have dinner with Dad to look forward to and some other things here and there. So quitcha bitchin and do it!  BTW skipping or switching a day wont fly. lol.

And finally I must say a huge THANK YOU to my Mom and Dad for creating me. You are the reason I am here on this Earth. Thank you and I love you sooo much!

a long break

So if you had been following my blogs you would know that I went off the map. It all started because the new medicine I was taking made me even more groggy than the other meds. Which I didn't imagine was even possible as I was struggling to wake up with the old meds. Lately, knock on wood, I've been getting up super early like today for example, 8 am! Last Sunday it was 7:30am! My husband was shocked. The medicine has been a Godsend. It has totally done a 360 on my life. I never knew what happy was and how depressed I was until I got on it. Really! No wonder I laid in bed for hours not wanting to get out--- I was depressed.. duh, why didn't I think of that??!!
So know that I'm no longer depressed I'm such a changed woman. I am super talkative and friendly with friend, family or strangers! I only have about a tenth of the worries I use to have. I'm still not drinking and don't desire to most of the time. This is ground breaking for me.

I want to discuss selfishness and humility for a moment.

So over the weekend I went Christmas and birthday shopping at the mall and also online shopping. I got everyone done except 2. I had 12 gifts and 12 stocking stuffers as well as 6 birthdays! But here's the thing-- no matter what store I went into I found something or somethings I would want for myself. I had to use serious self-discipline to deter myself from buying for me not another. This leads me to the topic of selfishness... I get so bothered when I think of how much I have and how I don't need anything. In fact I Should probably donate a lot. For example: I have been tracking what I wear. I haven't repeated an outfit since September. No grated I bought all my clothes a thrift shop that puts things into perspective. But still, I feel overwhelmed. I have an iPad, designer sunglasses, a HUGE collection of purses, you name it I probably have it. So why when shopping for holidays did I want almost 1 thing in every store I went into?! Am I greedy, or is this normal? My trainer was like well it's your money you earned it if you wanna spend on yourself why. Well he would be right if I didn't drop over 150 on a wallet a few weeks ago. Shopping is like a drug for me, it feels so good that I can't resist buying stuff.

But on another hand I am very humble. I volunteer my time and services. I donate clothes that I don't wear or fit in. I need to just not beat myself up and be thankful to God for all that I have and all he has given me.