being grateful/ grattitude

There is sooo much I have in this life that I am truly grateful for. Whether it be my family, friends or fellowship. I also have more material objects than I could ever imagine. I look at these things daily and think to myself, OMG why do you have so many belongings and further more why do you continue to obtain more? I have everything a girl could possibly need and more. Yet I go to the mall and find more things? WTF? Maybe when I go shopping if I feel the need to buy things it should be for other people?? Just to switch topics here.. I have a major addiction to shopping. Shopaholic here. I love browsing, searching, picking things out, buying, taking home, removing the tags and putting the things away. It is a true addiction I believe. But I never buy expensive stuff so hubby doesn't really have much to worry about. Its not like im buying jewelry that breaks the bank.  So back to the topic of gratitude. When you are thankful for what you have more comes your way. And it rubs off on others. I say my prayers and include everything I am thankful for in them. But now I am going to start a journal of all things I am grateful for. I encourage everyone to do the same. God carries me through the day and for that I am grateful and if that is the only thing on my list- that is all I need. God bless all. thanks for reading

a long break

So if you had been following my blogs you would know that I went off the map. It all started because the new medicine I was taking made me even more groggy than the other meds. Which I didn't imagine was even possible as I was struggling to wake up with the old meds. Lately, knock on wood, I've been getting up super early like today for example, 8 am! Last Sunday it was 7:30am! My husband was shocked. The medicine has been a Godsend. It has totally done a 360 on my life. I never knew what happy was and how depressed I was until I got on it. Really! No wonder I laid in bed for hours not wanting to get out--- I was depressed.. duh, why didn't I think of that??!!
So know that I'm no longer depressed I'm such a changed woman. I am super talkative and friendly with friend, family or strangers! I only have about a tenth of the worries I use to have. I'm still not drinking and don't desire to most of the time. This is ground breaking for me.

I want to discuss selfishness and humility for a moment.

So over the weekend I went Christmas and birthday shopping at the mall and also online shopping. I got everyone done except 2. I had 12 gifts and 12 stocking stuffers as well as 6 birthdays! But here's the thing-- no matter what store I went into I found something or somethings I would want for myself. I had to use serious self-discipline to deter myself from buying for me not another. This leads me to the topic of selfishness... I get so bothered when I think of how much I have and how I don't need anything. In fact I Should probably donate a lot. For example: I have been tracking what I wear. I haven't repeated an outfit since September. No grated I bought all my clothes a thrift shop that puts things into perspective. But still, I feel overwhelmed. I have an iPad, designer sunglasses, a HUGE collection of purses, you name it I probably have it. So why when shopping for holidays did I want almost 1 thing in every store I went into?! Am I greedy, or is this normal? My trainer was like well it's your money you earned it if you wanna spend on yourself why. Well he would be right if I didn't drop over 150 on a wallet a few weeks ago. Shopping is like a drug for me, it feels so good that I can't resist buying stuff.

But on another hand I am very humble. I volunteer my time and services. I donate clothes that I don't wear or fit in. I need to just not beat myself up and be thankful to God for all that I have and all he has given me.