The Beach

I never liked the beach.. I always thought it was stupid and pointless to go lay on sand all day and occasionally bask in the ocean waters. My favorite vacation alternative was to go shopping.  For example Myrtle Beach has a shopping/boardwalk and I always wanted to be there instead of the beach.

As I got older I realized that its nice to have a natural tan. So I'd be interested in lying on the beach for that one reason!
But I always ended up lobster burned!

now as an adult I really do see the beauty for going to the beach. its calming, relaxing altogether stress reliever.

the one part I hate is unloading the car of our beach related gear and walking to find a spot! and then at the end doing the same. It's shear laziness.

Now im extra careful with my skin. Ive been using 50 spf. and I still get a tan and I recently got burned in spots I missed! ugggg.

Some people play volleyball on the beach. Not for me. Some people build sand castles on the beach. Not for me. I started bringing a portable radio and that's been lovely.

My favorite part is laying on a towel and just resting with the sun on my back. And I think as a kid I didn't want to sit still like that. Now I get the point of the beach! and now I love going .. . never thought id see the day

Today's drink: Ice coffee with vanilla shot

ability to go backwards in life

Boy oh boy I sure wish I could go backward in life and do things differently. I feel like I have a LOT of regrets. Things I could have done differently. Some people I talk to in life say.. ah no, I don't wanna go backwards. But I do!

Ok so I know that God has things good and bad happen. He puts bad things in our lap because they help us grow and he knows we can handle them.

I'd take back calling in sick so many times within 1 month to my nanny job. That job was great for me and I would've earned a boat load of money.

I'd take back yelling at my mom several Christmas before.

I'd take back cheating on my now ex-boyfriend.

I'd take back stopping taking my meds.

So there are quite a bit of things.  But I'm wise enough to see that each of these regrets got me where I need to be.

They teach in AA to let go and let God. They want us to make amends with those we have resentments with. But what about a step to help us work on regrets?
I could use to work on that area of my life.

what do you regret? Do you regret nothing in life or just the opposite?

Today's drink: caramel macchiato

commitment part 2

So I've done it, I became a member of a gym, again! I am on day 2 and I was having trouble getting out of bed. First to do my blogging at Starbucks and after that go to the gym. But I did it; I got free. This is for me, for my benefit. Being lazy will get me nowhere. Except to feel down and negative about myself.

Anyone else have trouble committing to things?

I heard it takes 21 days to formulate a habit. So I have 18 to go!

I beat myself up a LOT! I have all the time in the world and don't take advantage of that.  Tv is not helpful or important. I use to watch Sex and the City all afternoon. over and over again! as they ran marathons on E!  Now that I don't have cable I have nothing to watch. well , nothing too good.

I can commit to a man really easy. I make a pretty damn good girlfriend/wife... but as far as daily routine items I suck at it. Here's what I want to commit to:

face care routine (cleanse, tone, moisturize)
exercise
art making
rosetta stone

none of these are difficult really maybe the exercise one will be the hardest for me.
 Let me know down below if you have something you'd like to commit to but are having trouble with it.

Today's drink: Café LAtte

It's who you know

Today's topic is a suggestion from my husband. We were at the beach on Saturday. There were a small group of 20-30 something men. They were drinking beers. 2 cops pulled up to them got out of their lil scooters and started talking to these men. Now I start to worry that we will get in trouble have beers on the beach. Ruben had brought about 5 and they were hidden in the cooler except the one in his hand. I thought for sure the cops were going to make the guys dump their beers or kick them off the beach. Nope ! Nothing! They just stayed chatting.

So..... is it allowed? Common says says yes. There were no signs stating that it's a law. The cops just stood there sipping their waters and watching the men sip their beers.

My husband was like, if they harass me for my beers I want you to record what's going on. That's not fair if they do.

It's really sometimes all about who you know. I compare it to getting a job. It's so easy to get a job if you know someone. I got my volunteer position because someone I knew knew I was looking for a position .

I just think that life is easier if you know someone. But it's not entirely fair is it?

 

 

Today's drink: Cinnabon Frappachino

 

fear of dogs

So anyone who knows me well, knows that I am afraid of dogs or should I say WAS afraid of dogs. I use to run away from them. When going to a home where they own a dog I'd request that they hold the dog somewhere.
I'm afraid of them in general.  Afraid they will jump on me and bite me. I have a dog in my neighborhood.. looks like a Doberman. He can jump the fence so... I don't go that direction when I take walks.

I'm also grossed out by them. I find them smelly, dirty and altogether nasty. I tend to find short hair dogs less dirty. Explain that one to me?! If a dog ever licked my I would die. So gross !

I have cats. They are my babies. I don't have children but say my cats are my children. They are not gross to me. They are not dirty to me. I let them lick me and don't get grossed out???!!It makes no sense. they are similar so why cats are fine and dogs aren't.

Well, good news is...my phobia is gone. With they help of Caesar Milan the Dog Whisperer. Watching that show made me realize that dogs have people-like qualities. They have emotions and are trainable. I got use to them watching that show. I wanted to be on that show myself. See if Caesar could 'fix' me of my fears.

My friend /co-worker years ago wrote a children's book: Not Afraid Of Dogs!! I bought it and she signed it for me: You are braver than you think!

I have recently pet several dogs at my family's lake house. There were about 5 dogs roaming around the property where we were all sitting and eating. The old me would've stayed in the car or hid somewhere. Instead this time I sit calmly on a bench with the dogs roaming around me. 1 had an issue with being friendly and biting history and still I sat by him. I was petting some of them.

I am so proud of myself for how far I've come in regards to dogs. I think I would still die if a dog licked me. But at least I can be around them calmly!!

Oh I forgot to say why I was afraid of dogs in the first place. Some of you may be wondering.
When I was 3 I was playing in my sandbox in the back yard. My mom went inside to answer a phone call (I think) and 3 big dogs probably german sheps or Rottweiler. came ad surrounded me. They didn't bite but I was terrified. and that did it for me.

People in general sure do love dogs. My husband is always saying dogs would do anything to protect their owner. And they are genuinely happy when you get home. And they  make great companions. I'm not quite there yet but maybe one day we will own an dog ??!!

Today's drink: Teavana: Mango black lemonade

TV

I use to think TV was a waste of time. I would watch maybe a few select shows and that was it.

As a child I watched enough TV for 4 people. My favorite 2 shows when I was a child were: I Dream of Jeanie and Bewitched!  Even when younger than that it was MTV. Yes MTV! My mom said I loved watching music videos. And to this day I still love music videos.

I think between Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers I learned a great deal. Very educational programming. Oh and Reading Rainbow.

Fast forward to my 30s.. I love reality tv. Embarrassing to admit but God honest truth. I love Real Housewives, Shark Tank, Kardashians, and many many more.

TV according to my therapist is a passive activity. It requires no movement or effort. I have plenty of free time as most of you may know.

I wish I did other things rather than watch TV. And what's even worse is we cancelled our cable television. So I thought for sure I would decrease my TV watching by half or more. NOPE now I watch shows I don't even like. I want to exercise, create daily art, go to Starbucks for blogging daily.

I might get a gym membership so therefore less time spent at home in front of the tv.

and now with Netflix you can Binge watch your favorite shows. I have done it. You spend the whole weekend inside, watching these shows. its hypnotizing.

anyone have tips on how not to watch tv. self will I guess but any other tips are welcomed!!!

Today's drink:Tall Caramel Macchiato

comittment

I'm baaaack! Well I was adjusting to my new meds that made be even sleepier than before without those meds. But now I'm hopefully back to the grind.

The topic of today's blog is commitment. This is a character defect of mine. I have all these great ideas and then I start them and then never finish. Some things I'd love to be able to commit to...

1.) daily walk or daily gym use (I currently have no membership and a hole in the belt of my treadmill at home.)

2.) skin care routine. I do it at random. I'd like to do it consistently daily!

3) art journaling or making art daily

4)cooking on weekends or trying new recipes


How come I cant make habits of these things I've listed??? I think its laziness.

The TV is so much easier of an option..

When it comes to relationships I am huge on commitment. I am good at it. I like it. I repect it.

When it comes to jobs I'm horrible at it. I get started and want to leave soon there after.

When I told my friend that my husband said I'll get a gym membership and wont stick to it. He said prove your husband wrong. hmmm.. can I really commit to a gym membership??

Ive had Lucille Roberts.. went 3 times. I've had Bally's and went again maybe 3 times. and then Planet Fitness a handful of times.

And.... if we move I wont' know if there's a gym near me.

I recently bought Gretchin Rubin's newest book. Better Than Before. it's suppose to help people commit to things and form habits.

I'm hoping the book will be JUST what I NEED to make habits!

Gretchen Rubin website

Today's coffee: blonde roast with a shot of hazelnut