habits or not

So I finished my book called Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin. Its a book to teach how habits are formed, kept or not. I thought it would help me accomplish my goals. I have so many goals. I think no I Know I constantly am trying to better myself. The program talks about character defects. I am constantly trying to fix those. Here are some habits I would love to formulate. And I may have talked about these before.
-facial regimen- cleanse, tone, moisturize- morning and nite
-come to Starbucks and blog every week day morning
- go to gym , trainer and cardio
- art journal at least 3 times a week (right now I do none0
- Rosetta Stone, Spanish language. I want to talk to hubby in Spanish ideally
-keep a gratitude journal daily

These goals are all TOTALLY obtainable! But for whatever reason I can't stick to them. I will do my skin care routine (I use Meaningful Beauty from Cindy Crawford) for days in a row and then skip for days in a row. Why not just do every day??? Am I that lazy. Look at this morning. I did get out to Starbucks but I didn't do the face cleansing routine. Little stuff like this, yes its little.. bothers me.

All of these listed items should go up on an updated Vision Board. but this vision board will be different. It will be limited to just those things I listed above. Nothing more or less. Stay simple.

Rosetta Stone I'm struggling to do at all. I want to learn Spanish but for some reason I just don't designate the time for it.
So if the book didn't help me learn how to keep a habit I don't know what will.

The Starbucks routine is hard because it requires me to get up at a reasonable time. and get out of the house. I decided to set an alarm. sounds minor but I honestly never thought of that before. Set and alarm. wake up the same time every day and it may actually make me get up regularly on my now.


I actually sit around feeling bad that I don't make these several things into permanent habits.
I am so hard on myself. I should be proud of the little things. But there is time in this life and I can learn to adapt ways to make me fulfill these habits.

Today's drink: Spiced Pumpkin Latte no whip cream

labor day weekend

So I haven't blogged in a while. I get pretty sleepy even upon waking up. So my desire is to only blog from Starbucks. IF I change that plan I will never get out to starbucks. The purpose in first place from this blog is to get out of the house consistently early morning so I can have a purpose to wake up and get up.

So labor day weekend was packed for us with things to do. Saturday we went to my family's lake houses (there's 3 altogether). I brought my grandmother's apple pie. I try to do that every year. There was A LOT of booze. My husband was drinking beers and vodka. Luckily my best friend and her husband were visiting from Long Island and they don't drink. So that was helpful. Why do I care if people are drinking? Only because its tempting. I cannot drink. I have a disease that makes me sick when I drink. I also can't drink just a lil' has to be binge. I can't believe I'm writing this here for all to see. But my battle with sobriety is a meaningful one. Now I can remember Everything I say and do. I don't act a fool. Luckily  too my friend's husband drove us there and back. So that my husband could drink and not drive. So I was able to decline drinks all weekend.

Sunday we were invited to our neighbor's pool party. Hubby brought them a bottle of vodka. They had all sorts of mixers for it. I was tempted to have a vodka and red bull. But I passed. Again my friends don't drink so that was helpful. Hubby however was getting shit faced. which is fine. He's a grown adult. no driving involved as the party was next door. I had a great time but I didn't go in the pool. It was way to cold water for me.

Monday my sister and her family came over to go to the beach in Bridgeport called Seaside Park. It was so good that my best friend got to see my nephews after a long time not seeing them. We had a BBQ first with hot dogs and burgers and corn and then we went to the beach and relaxed why my sis and her kids were catching hermit crabs in the water!

again there was beer there. and I passed it up. Thanks God!
 we had fun! I was laying out on my towel soaking in the sun all covered in 50 spf sunblock!

we went back to my house and cooked some more. The nephews got to do the tradition I made for them: painting a rock or two from my rock garden! They love painting the rocks! I have to get more colors for them besides just red and yellow.

anyways a fun and sober weekend for me! and all had fun as far as I know!

Drink of the day: pumpkin spice latte no whip cream

I'm back!

I can't believe I took so much time off away from this blog. It really is fun to get out and come to Starbucks, order coffee -something different every time and sit amongst others with just as much action. I have been put on a new medication since end of June. This medication in addition to the other one made me so sedated. Getting up was a task. I have so many topics to write about.



My husband has been pointing out how many things I'm forgetting. Whether its something he or someone else told me moments prior or something I told someone twice because I forgot I told them in the first place. I'm wondering if this is something to tell the doctor?! Like I'm getting stupid or something. ???? damn meds damned if you do, damned if you don't. they help in so many good ways but side effects can sure be challenging.

So our house had been on the market these last 3 months. We got a handful of showings and 1 offer. The offer didn't work out. Hubby and I agreed that if nothing happened end of 3 months we'd discontinue contract. So we did just that. I'm happy because the idea of moving was worrying me to no end. Which is probably normal for anyone selling a house. Now I can continue with my life as its going in a really good direction now.

So I have a few new friends in my life. Which is exceptionally good since they are all local. My older friends all live in other states. New York, Cali, phili, N. Carolina, florida, colorodo!! I haven't made new friends in a long while. So this is warmly welcomed.


That's enough for the updates..

2 year wedding anniversary

so today is our two year anniversary! We go married at Vazzy's Fairchild Wheeler golf course August 10th 2013. It was the most beautiful day of the whole summer. The weather was perfect. I worked so hard to make the arrangements for decorations and other things like the lemonade/ mason jar bar!
I didn't get all the pics I had hoped for but there was a good/bad reason for that.

So in the past two years a lot has changed in our relationship. some things I don't want to talk about here. I love Ruben so much and more and more every day. He means the world to me. I take his advise and opinions like gold. He always watches out for me.

I get mad that he harasses me when I smoke cigs.. but he means well and doesn't want to see me sick in the future. But I stay away from cigs for him not me. Anyways that's a whole other topic.

So we are basically best friends. We don't do things without each other Most of the time.
 I love cooking for him. I know he likes that.. even if I don't cook Spanish food. I also love just sitting doing nothing with him. that's a true measure of a relationship. That you can sit in silence and still be comfortable.

Thanks hubby for being an amazing force in my life. I know you wont see this but I love you with all my heart. !

Missing my grandfather

So Pepere  (grandpa in French) has been on my mind a lot lately. He meant the world to me. I actually had the opportunity to care for him on a daily basis. Towards the end of his life he developed dementia. It was pretty serious. I've seen even worse when I worked at the nursing home. He was always repeating the same question over and over again. He never knew what he was 'suppose' to be doing and would ask.. is this what I should be doing? Luckily as I believe it I have extreme patience.

I would help him get on the bus that transports seniors to the senior center. Pepere prior to my care had been driving to the senior center by himself at age 93!! they would often find him in his car early AM sleeping in it. we struggled to figure out how to get him to stop driving. He was so adamant about driving. He use to say.. I thank God every day for letting me get around the way I do. Meaning driving. finally one night he actually left his house and drove to we think the senior center but he got lost. He drove to several towns away and actually pulled over to a cop on the side of the road to ask him for directions. Long story short the cop knew he was demented and revoked his license right then and there. The neighbors noticed him leave and called my mom. she was able to go to the scene because the cop called her. her name was in his wallet. she was so relieved he revoked the license.

Anyways. I loved taking care of Pepere. There were afternoons when I would watch tv while he sat in the porch. I regret that but some people say.. you couldn't be on top of him 24/7. I remember taking him out for ice cream at Friendly's one day and that was awesome.

overall I was able to help my grandfather in his final years. He ended up in a home because he got sick and falling. he stopped eating at the nursing home and eventually died. 

I gave the eulogy at his funeral and I am so proud of that. I know he is watching over me right now. Love you pepere!

Today's drink: Smores frappuchino

Dead battery

I am writing from my cell phone. My computer battery is dead ! And  at stsrbucks

I was going to write about my grandfather today. Maybe  I'll wrote from home   Well  I'm gonna relax here at Starbucks and drink my coffee  today's was free ! Ice hazelnut coffee'

If I was LOADED!

I am not one who fantasizes about winning the lottery. I think its too far fetched and the odds too high. My husband always talks about what he would do if he won the lottery. And he's pretty generous with his money. He'd buy friends and family houses. He'd give away money to friends and family. He'd buy luxery cars, watches and other designer items.
I don't bother thinking about that because I know it'll never happen. But here's what I'd do if I had millions.
first thing: Breast augmentation/ boob job. I wont hesitate to get one.
A house on the water in Miami or anywhere in Florida for that matter.
purses.. I love all designer purses and I would buy tons of them. Sorry that's my thing. purses. Not shoes, purses.
 the house has to have an inground pool and hot tub as well
Make up  I would by designer brand makeup as well.


as I write this I'm noticing that a lot of these things would be affordable if I had a good paying job. I need to just live with what Ive got. I can't get a job anytime soon. So I'll stick with what ive got now.


Having a ton of money would be nice but I don't sit around dreaming about it. That's pointless to me. I'll stick with what ive got.

Today's drink: cinnamon chai latte, cold

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