I was always shy, very very shy. I could never just go up to a stranger and ask for something. In school my shyness got interpreted as being a snob. They all thought that I thought I was too good for them therefore I didn't talk to anyone. So not the case. I didn't know how to communicate. I didn't know how to start a conversation or how to keep one. And years later that's where alcohol came into play. It helped me when I was a lot older (like the last 2 years of high school) older to be able to socialize with my peers.
But at undergrad I did: I think that I had come out of my shell my freshman year at college. I had a large circle of friends and I was able to juggle between school and social life. oh my we drank so much. and my last year .. what a confidence boost. So many friends instead of the first 3 years where I had just a few. Both ways: a few friend party all the time and a ton of friends party all the time , alcohol was part of the picture. I was slowly gaining confidence in myself .. if this is making any sense. before I needed alcohol to socialize..
Now I don't need booze to have fun or party. But as far as speaking up for myself I am a totally new person. I will ultimately ask for anything I need. I have the mentality that it doesn't hurt to ask.
I hate conflict, I hate having to approach somebody and tell them they hurt or bothered me. But if I don't then I have let them walk over me, hence having a no back bone. I just practiced this last night. I had to approach hubby with something he said that bothered me and I really wanted to just avoid it but I HAD TO DO IT! and I did, it went well and now he will know better for the next time that I don't tolereate that behavior.
So I guess the theme is backbone to have or not! I guess you can grow one with time like me!
